Imagine parting with your child. Imagine believing that
it is your only option. Imagine believing that it is
right. It still hurts, doesn't it? Now that you've got
that feeling down, imagine someone has told you that
you don't have a right to be sad. Or shed tears. Or
miss your child. Hard to find a place to fit in again,
huh? Most people thing you are crazy if you want to
remember or talk about your child.
Birth Mom Missions is a nonprofit organization created and managed by actual
birth mothers of adoption. We provide a much needed (and often overlooked)
service to women who have placed their child through adoption.
We stress the birth mother aspect to our mission, because we feel it is what
makes us a unique organization and allows us to truly "tell it like it is"
to women just like ourselves. Unfortunately we missed out on a birth mom
mentor but we saw the need for this. We can think of no greater satisfaction
than to help women in the future that experience an unexpected or crisis
pregnancy and choose life. We are dedicated to providing nonjudgmental
assistance to any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy and guidance for those
who choose to become birth mothers. We do not "promote adoption but we do
promote life. The decision on adoption vs. parenting yourself should be
purely based on what is in the child's best interest.
Birth Mothers have parted with a huge piece of themselves.
Even the most independent woman will tell you that having a child changes a
woman's view of herself. Placing that child is akin to letting go of a piece
of your self.
We offer local supportive groups (growing nationwide)
made up of women who have been through the similar
experiences. We want to provhttp://www.birthmommission.com/de
young women in the future with the knowledge
and support that we wish we had from a birth
mother. Someone unbiased to talk to us, inform
us, guide us, emphasize with us, and answer
all our silly questions. One goal of the mission
is to someday see every pregnant
woman that is considering adoption, to have
at least one birth mother mentor.
The mission touches the lives of those
adopted, adoptive parents, hopeful adoptive
parents, pregnant woman at risk, and the unborn
and other parts of society in ways yet to be
Some background:It seems that the grief which results
from adoption loss more often follows a pattern
which is the exact opposite of what one might
expect in the case of other losses. From my
research, I have made certain conclusions on
the grief associated with adoption loss, based
on my own experience, the experiences of the
women I have encountered and the books on grief
and grief counseling which I have read. It became
obvious to me that the common models of grief
counseling would not work with mothers who had
lost children through adoption. I concluded
that the grief resulting from the loss of a
child through adoption was fundamentally different
from other types of grief. I explored grief
associated with abortion, with stillbirth and
neo-natal death and with loss of custody. Although
there were some similarities, it seemed that
adoption grief was unique.
grief is when the grief is connected
with a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged,
publicly mourned or socially supported. In many
cases of disenfranchised grief, the relationship
is not recognized, the loss is not recognized
or the griever is not recognized. The loss of
a child through adoption is usually a loss which
cannot be openly acknowledged, which is why
mothers often suffer in silence...people who
have experienced any type of loss often feel
anger, guilt, sadness, depression, hopelessness
and numbness and that in cases of disenfranchised
grief, these feelings can persist for a very
long time. The lack of recognition of their
grief often results in them holding
on to it more tenaciously than they
might otherwise have done.
CONCLUSIONS: The relinquishing
mother is at risk for long-term physical, psychological,
and social repercussions. Although interventions
have been proposed, little is known about their
effectiveness in preventing or alleviating these
repercussions." (Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological
and Neonatal Nursing, 1999 Jul-Aug. pp.395-200)
We hope to help change this by raising awareness
among the community and supporting each other
through the process of recovery. Many different
groups of people fear birth parent grief for
many reasons. The old adage goes that people
fear what they don't know. We would like to
shed a little light on why birth parent grief
isn't meant to be scary to adoptive parents,
adoptees or the general public.
We stress the birth mother aspect to our mission,
because we feel it is what makes us a unique
organization and allows us to truly "tell it
like it is" to women just like ourselves. Unfortunately
we missed out on a birth mom mentor but we saw
the need for this. We can think of no greater
satisfaction than to help women in the future
that experience an unexpected or crisis pregnancy
and choose life. We are dedicated to providing
nonjudgmental assistance to any woman facing
an unplanned pregnancy and guidance for those
who choose to become birth mothers.
(Options to birthmom: lifemom, firstmom,
tummymom, etc...In actuality most birth moms
of adoption don't really care what they are
called by the adoptive family and others....as
long as they are called.)
SO IF YOUR ADOPTED, REMEMBER: Somebody
is very proud of you.
Somebody is thinking of you.
Somebody misses you.
Somebody wants to be with you. Somebody is
thankful for you.
Somebody wants to hold your hand.
Somebody hopes everything turns out
Somebody wants you to be happy.
Somebody wants to give you a gift.
Somebody thinks you ARE a gift.
Somebody wants to hug you.
Somebody wants to protect you.
Somebody can't wait to see you.
Somebody loves you for who you are.
Somebody treasures your spirit.
Somebody wants you to know they never
Somebody would do anything for you.
Somebody wants to share their dreams
Somebody believes in you.
Somebody will cry when they read this.
Somebody needs you to have faith in
Somebody hears a song that reminds them
Somebody hopes you understand.
Somebody wonders if you will love them.
Somebody is your birth mom out there...
You must install Adobe Flash to view this content.
Birth Mom Missions is recognized
by the Internal Revenue Service as a 501 (c)(3), non-profit
corporation. We hold ourselves accountable to donors,
supporters, churches and foundations to use the resources
they contribute wisely, responsibly and in service of our